Friendships Among Girls

I had a number of interesting conversations with parents during conferences about our girls and their various social interactions. It is not unusual for parents, trying to steer daughters through adolescence, to have concerns about the shifting friendship dynamics of this age group. Having spent a lot of years "in the sixth grade," I really understand how confusing and anxiety provoking it can be for caring mothers and fathers to watch their girls struggle with problematic relationships among their peers. It is difficult to know when to jump in and intervene, and when it is better to stand back and let the children work it out for themselves... Boys really do seem to navigate these waters much more smoothly. Here is one piece of research that I found in searching for some kind of "professional" advice or information on this topic. It surely doesn't provide any fixes, but it may feel reassuring to know that this is not an "uncommon" concern... For psychologists to understand the way in which adolescent girls develop in relation to the world around them, it is important to examine adolescent girls' friendships. Close friendships, considered by many social scientists to be the "most rewarding and satisfying of all human relationships" are clearly important for the social and emotional health of all adolescents, regardless of ethnicity, race, or socioeconomic status. What is known about girls' friendships and peer relations is based primarily on studies comparing girls with boys. Although these studies provide important information, they offer little understanding of the diversity of experiences and perceptions of friendships among girls, including the important distinction girls make among types of friends and the nature and quality of these relationships. There has also been little attention given to the ways in which class, culture, race, ethnicity, and sexual identity shape adolescent girls' friendships groupings and even less attention to the ways in which racism, sexism, classism, and homophobia influence the environments in which girls' friendships are nurtured. Early adolescence appears to be especially stressful on adolescent girls' friendships and peer relations, signified by a sharp increase in indirect relational aggression. More typical of girls and more distressful to girls than to boys, relational aggression, characterized by such behaviors as spreading rumors or threatening withdrawal of affiliation, appears to emerge as girls' attempt to negotiate current power relations and affirm or resist conventional constructions of femininity. More research is needed to understand the nature and quality of this negotiation and the role popularity and attractiveness play in the development and configuration of adolescent girls' peer groupings. Friendships can be a source of both knowledge and strength for adolescent girls. They can also be a source of struggle, hurt, and confusion, particularly as girls move into adolescence and begin to negotiate dominant cultural views of sexual relationships, femininity, and appearance. Directly engaging adolescent girls in conversations about such issues and encouraging them to explore together how current power relations are played out in the context of their relationships with other girls and women can provide support as well as opportunities to resist social separations.

Research Agenda: Friendships

• How do girls' friendships and peer relations mitigate or exacerbate the psychological and social struggles of adolescence? What possibilities for support and protective factors exist within girls' friendships?
• How does social location-that is, class, race, ethnicity, and sexual identity-affect the nature of adolescent girls' friendships and peer groupings and influence the forms and meanings of communication among girls, including the formation of cliques, aggressive behavior, bullying, and teasing?
• How do school environments and neighborhood contexts influence peer groupings and friendship patterns?
• How do changing relationships with boys affect relationships between girlfriends?
• How are expressions of closeness and intimacy between girls affected by conventional notions of femininity and codes of sexual and gender "normalcy"?
• What are the strengths and stresses of girls' friendships forged across lines of class and culture?